The other night, I was sat around a table with three gorgeous farang girls and some equally good-looking farang men. As the glasses of clear liquid emptied faster than the ice could melt, the conversation moved towards the topic of white girls in Thailand.

The girls I sat with have been here far longer than I have (about four months), and they were complaining about the lack of attention they receive in this city. Most of the guys, they said, were here for one kind of girl, and one kind of girl only: Thai girls (not to be confused with ‘tigers’, which, interestingly, sounds very similar). 

The guys began mocking them, saying “Oh, poor you, for the first time in your life, you’re not the centre of guys’ attention.” I can understand their point. Until these guys came to Asia, they lived in a world where men have to work for a girls’ attention. In Asia (and Thailand specifically), female attention comes much more…let’s say…naturally. Western men are considered to be a hot commodity over here, and that means western girls are sometimes treated as more of a nuisance – something that just kind of gets in the way of the trans-racial relations that take place here.

These guys implied that since western girls are so hard-pressed for attention in Bangkok, they would jump the first guy who paid attention to them.

Indeed, my very first night out in Bangkok, I went to a party where I was told by at least four different people (men and women) that I would probably go through a bit of a dry spell whilst in Bangkok. Of course, I’m no stranger to Asia, and all the fun things that come with it. I’ve become accustomed to the look in the white guy’s eye when he sees a gorgeous local girl strutting by in her tiny little shorts with her tight little body, to the glisten of the drool dripping slowly out of his mouth. I’m so beyond it that it doesn’t even disgust me anymore – kind of like how a nurse gets used to changing colostomy bags. I just shrug and twist my lips in a funny way that I do when I’m in a situation I can’t do anything about. 

Though my time in Bangkok has been short thus far, I have noticed a stunning amount of fabulous western girls here. We’re talking strong, independent, successful women who are, as it happens, strikingly beautiful. And yet, I see them time and time again sticking together in their own little groups, almost intimidated by the rejection that they fear pends from the many oh-so average-looking western guys with their eyes glued to that Thai girls’ bottom.

Girls! Wake up and see how fucking fabulous you are! You deserve way better than that. The fact is, Bangkok is an international hub, and to think that only one kind of guy comes here is completely insane. There are all kinds of people in this city, and not all of them are here just to meet Thai girls. And many of them are not total douche bags.

I get so sad when I see a gorgeous white girl with a guy who (if you could tell people by appearances, which clearly you cannot, but really you can to a certain extent) just is not up to her standard. I wish the girls here could stop settling. 

The thing is, I get it. I remember being out at a club in Japan after about seven months living there, and having my eye on a particular guy, when I suddenly shook my head and thought what the hell am I thinking! Once I removed what we aptly named my “JET goggles” (JET was the name of the teaching program through which I and other foreigners were employed), I saw that he was someone I never would have found attractive if I’d had any kind of options or hope for better. I vowed from that moment onwards that I would never settle for a guy simply for lack of better options.

But Bangkok is so different from any city in Japan that there isn’t a need for that kind of self-betrayal here. Sure, western guys can get a kind of confidence in this city that makes them think they’re king-shit. But why should they get that kind of privilege, just because some Thai girls resort to pretending to like these guys, in order to feed their families? 

My male friends explained to me that guys come to Thailand because it’s easy. In the west, they have to play ‘the game’ to perfection in order to score a girl, whereas in Thailand, it’s as simple as walking into a bar. Besides, as a blog post I read by a man defending his Thai sex-tourist ways boorishly stated, all men “pay for it one way or another.” Whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy.

So, I have this to say to all the men who come to Bangkok looking for easy women: have your fun, but if you’re any kind of real man, you’re sure to find any relationship that you don’t have to put any effort into (other than your hard-earned cash) exceptionally unsatisfying. Girls you have to work for - be they local or foreign - may take (aw poor you) a bit of work, but the rewards of that work are sure to be returned exponentially.

Furthermore, I have this to say to my white sisters in Bangkok: stop bloody settling!! You’re fabulous; now start acting like it.

 

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