Having been traveling in Thailand for nearly a month now, I have developed a series of questions that pop into my brain every once in a while. I have not yet been able to get any concrete answers to them, so I am going to post them here, and it will inspire me to dig deeper so that I can write another post complete with answers.

1. Why aren’t Thais allowed into so many of the places frequented by foreigners? So often you will see a sign in a guesthouse or other establishment that will read ‘no Thais allowed’, even though the place is clearly owned and run by Thais. What’s up with that? Another example is a party that Amy and I saw advertised in Haad Rin, where on the flyer it read ‘for your safety, only Westerners and other foreigners will be allowed access to this party’.

2. What’s with all the lady boys? Are there more transsexuals in Thailand than in other places, or is it just more accepted here?

3. Does anyone actually like Thai massage? Because pretty much all the foreigners I’ve spoken to about it say that it feels like getting what we used to call in elementary school (and is so un-PC) an ‘indian sunburn’ (ie. They’re pulling on your skin and it feels like burning). Thai massages are, in my opinion, more painful than fun.

4. I have to be veeeeery careful how I phrase this, so here it goes. What is the reasoning behind the complete and utter devotion to the king? Where does it come from, and to what extent is it a reflection of the citizens’ private feelings?

5. What’s up with the Thai rock concerts being blasted out of the bus’ TV at 2am?

6. Is there a true Thai affinity with Bob Marley, or is it an act for the tourists? Bob – he’s freaking everywhere. Having been in Thailand for a month, I can now recite every word to every single Bob Marley song out there. Every bar you go into has a huge Bob Marley poster, and they often has his album on constant rotation. I’m actually going to make a T-shirt that says ‘No More Bob’ with a big X through Bob Marley’s face (may he rest in peace).

7. Why are tuktuks more expensive than metered taxis? They’re far less comfortable in every possible way, you can’t see out of them, and they take far longer. Why would anyone ever pay more for a tuktuk, other than to do it once as a ‘fun tourist thing’?

8. Why must Thai women use western toilets like squats, leaving droplets of urine all over the toilet seat? Sit the f*** down!! Sorry. But it’s really disgusting. And often you’ll even see a sign on the back of the door saying ‘Do not stand on toilet seat’. God knows why it’s written in English and not Thai, because I’m quite sure it’s not the Western women who are standing on the toilet seat. 

9. What the heck is that inhaler thing I always see Thai people sniffing at? It looks like a Vicks peppermint inhaler that you breathe through your nose to relieve congestion, but I’m pretty sure that’s not what it is. I suspect that it’s a drug of some sort, but I have never seen anyone do it who I thought might speak a lick of English, so I’ve never been able to ask.

10. How much alcohol, per square inch, has been absorbed into the sands of Haad Rin beach? Because I would think the amount would be substantial. Haad Rin beach, in case you forget, is where the Full Moon Party is held each month on Koh Phagnan. There is a party on Haad Rin beach every night of the year. At least once a month, the Full Moon Party attracts upwards of 10,000 people. That’s a lot of potential alcohol spillage. 

Amy and I went and laid down on Haad Rin beach (one time, and one time only) before the Full Moon Party, and when we got up, Amy found that her sarong reeked of alcohol. That’s when it occurred to me that the beach must be soaked in it. I guess alcohol evaporates, but at what speed if it’s covered in sand and sweaty bodies?

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