I’m not a morning person. There are few things in this world I will wake up early for. So when we were told that the only bus out of Laos and into Cambodia was at 8am, I was not impressed. I was even less impressed when they took us across the water (since we were on an island), and to a meeting point, where we had to wait about an hour for the bus. That was valuable sleeping time.

They stuffed us into a minivan, when it decided to arrive, which we had paid for in Laos to take us to Stung Treng (a nothing town, but a transit point for everything else).

At the border, we had to take out all of our bags and cart them across a stretch of about 200 meters, in the middle of which we had to visit the “Quarantine” booth, where we were made to fill out a form, and have our temperature taken, for which we had no choice but to pay $1. It was total bullshit and we were not impressed at the obvious money-grab. Thanks but actually I was perfectly aware that I was healthy and didn’t really need to pay you to point a temperature gun at my forehead which probably isn’t really accurate anyways.

Once we were across the border, and sitting in our new minivan, we had to wait for the bus to fill up before the driver would even consider leaving. A British couple we’d met back in Laos were directed by our bus driver to our bus, only to find out that they should have been on another bus. By the time our bus driver realized this, the bus they were meant to be on was chugging down the road and out of sight.

First, the driver used his cell phone to call the driver of the other bus, to tell him he’d left two people who had paid tickets for his bus behind. But the driver refused to come back for them. Then the couple and our bus driver spent the next 10 minutes arguing over whose fault it was, until finally we could see that our bus driver was fully prepared to just leave this couple at the border. No other buses transit that point, so the couple would have been stranded for the rest of the day and night. Of course, we were not going to let them remain there stranded, so a few of us got out of the minivan and tried to reason with the driver. But he would have none of it. “They’re human beings!” I cried, “You can’t just leave them stranded at the side of the road!” but he just shook his head and looked at the ground and didn’t seem to care.

Eventually, we managed to get them two seats in our bus for $5 a piece (see, money always talks). So they were OK. But it was like, welcome to Cambodia.

Our destination that day was Ban Lung, a quiet lake village in northeastern Cambodia. They told us on our bus that they would take us to meet the bus from Phnom Penh that would pass by at 2pm. They took us to the bus meeting point at 1:15pm, where we had to wait in what was probably the most uncomfortably hot conditions I’ve ever experienced. It wasn’t that it was any hotter than any other day (though maybe slightly), but the place we had to wait for 2.5 hours had no fans, and the area was untouched by wind. Amy and I were so hot that even though we weren’t thirsty, we bought water just so that we could smush the cool bottle to our foreheads. I was so hot still that I took the water and poured it down my head, something I had never before been desperate enough to do. But it sure made the day more bearable (if slightly squishier).

The bus arrived, an hour and a half after they’d told us it would. We were so glad to be out of the heat that we didn’t care. The floor of the bus was basically a pile of rotting garbage, and the seats were nowhere near big enough, but alas, we were on our way.

It was worse than it looks

The air conditioning was so weak that it didn’t come close to reaching our heads, but when the bus was moving, the air from the cracks in its sides let in a nice breeze (the windows, of course, did not open, barring one in the back). But it wasn’t even the bus that was the horrible part of the journey – the road to Ban Lung is made up of non-stop potholes so plethorous that it was more like driving over a miniature version of the Rocky Mountains. North to South. It was like this for all 3.5 hours of the journey. It was officially the. Worst. Bus ride. Ever. A Cambodian guy sitting right in front of me actually had to run to the only open window at the back of the bus and puke for a good five minutes.

You know the bus ride is horrible when the locals are puking.

So how thankful were we when we dismounted the bus, after a full 12 hours of traveling, to be greeted by the very man we wanted to see – Sophat, the manager of Lake View Lodge (which comes highly recommended by both our guidebooks, and is owned by the friend of some guy we met who said to say hi). We collapsed into his ballin’ SUV, complete with DVD player and leather seats. Sophat speaks excellent English (he’s an English high school teacher), and bears a striking resemblance to Will Smith.

Even better was when we rolled in to his guest house, an old governor’s house (like the house is old, not the governor…though he is probably old too), and were greeted by the amazingly sweet staff, and a big, clean room, with cloud-like mattresses on our twin beds, and our own bathroom – all at $5USD a night. Paradise, we thought. We hurriedly showered in the freezing cold water, and ran down for dinner (we were starving) and a nice, refreshing Angkor beer. We laughed as Sophat amused us with his tales and learned some Khmer words.

So I guess it was worth it. But never again!!

Well, it’s my six month anniversary with Southeast Asia today, and Amy and I celebrated over a glass of wine (yes, that’s right, we found wine!!) and some strange ‘fritters’ (since they were all out of caramel flan). Amy gave me half of her glass cuz she’s not a big wine drinker, and since it’s been so long since I’ve had any wine, I’m feeling slightly tipsy after my 1.5 glasses.

We’re in a place called Champasak, for the sole purpose of going to see Wat Phu, a Khmer ruin that was actually quite cool. Tomorrow we’re headed onwards to the 4000 Islands, or Si Phan Don, and two days later, it’s Cambodia, my friend!

So what better time than now to reflect upon my last six months in Southeast Asia?

It’s funny too because I was just looking at the Cambodia section of my travel guide, and it’s right before the Hong Kong and Macau section. So the place that Amy and I are going to be in a few days (Stung Treng) is the last part of the Cambodia section, and right beside that page is the highlights of Hong Kong and Macau.

Wow that feels so FREAKING long ago!! Hong Kong! When I was lost in the big city, just starting my trip, eating nothing but corn and trying to save money, and making friends with Pakistani prisoners. That was this year??

And then it was off to the Philippines, where I made so many friends that my phone filled up with messages every three days (they just LOVE to text in the Phils!!). Ah how I loved the Philippines. It still holds a very special place in my heart (I often tell people that that is where I started my Southeast Asia trip, because that is where my heart feels it truly began). The Philippines, for me, was all about the people – my very sophisticated friends in Manila, my wild parties in Boracay, the romances, the heartbreak, and all the drama. And not to mention the fact that the beaches were breathtaking, and the sunsets truly spectacular. Not having anything to compare it to, I didn’t realize just how spectacular they were – but now I know – among the best in Southeast Asia.

Et après ca, c’etait Indonesie!! First to Jakarta – where I had some great times with my very awesome friend Romy, and then on to Bali – where I met up with the best-ever travel buddy Ms. Amy Jennermann. Who KNEW that we would get along so freaking well!! So Indonesia didn’t quite make it all the way into our hearts (hello sketchy Indonesian boat trip!) until we found Kuta, Lombok, which we still talk about to this day as being one of our favourite places. Aw I still miss it.

Then there was a flight to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, where we stayed with a jungle man who had bed bugs (though I didn’t mention it at the time b/c it’s so gross). We promptly moved out of there, and then found ourselves on a very poorly-planned route across Malaysia, during which both Amy and I may or may not have caught Swine Flu, and ending with a few nights on the dazzling Perhentians.

We then defiantly disobeyed the Lonely Planet and took a sketchy border-crossing into Thailand, and zigzagged across the south, island hopping, partying, caving, full mooning, and tanning to our hearts’ content. Then it was up to crazy Bangkok and Chiang Mai, for some backpacker-overload, followed by our favourite place that we almost didn’t even go to – Pai!

A loooong slowboat ride down the Mekong took us to Luang Prabang, which I think is so far my favourite place in Laos. The Mekong, which we have followed (or has it followed us??) all the way down Laos, is far more gorgeous than it appears on TV, but also far more brown. Vang Vieng was weird, and Vientiane was far less of a hole than people said it would be. Southern Laos (ie. Everything south of Vientiane) has far fewer tourists than I’d been expecting, but we realized that it’s because most everyone in Southern Laos is headed to Cambodia – and I guess there aren’t that many of us?

So that’s it – there you have it – six months of travel condensed into uhh…let’s see…574 words.

Here’s to another six months, baby.

It’s 8:30am and I’m up, fresh as a daisy. The waterfalls are pounding out my front window, and the day is not yet too hot for a bout of yoga on my view-tastic porch.

I spread my legs on the shiny tile floor below me and lean my torso to the left. The white-capped water pours underneath the long, rickety old bridge that allows us passage to the most interesting bits of the Bolaven Plateau, Laos’ little-visited natural wonder.  

The view from our balconey

My stomach grumbles to remind me it’s time for breakfast. I saunter over to the kitchen, keen to place my order for a bread and vegetable omelet (I had it yesterday, and it was delicious!), but the one server who speaks English is currently occupied. “Come back later,” is the message I’m told through the confused girl’s eyes.

I continue to stretch out my body, and return in a few minutes to find someone who is able to take my order. I am going to need my nutrients today – we’ve booked a four-hour trek around the plateau to see three waterfalls and four villages.

~

The trek is pretty cool – though sketchy at times when our guide gets lost, and when I walked through a human-sized animal trap and he doesn’t tell me what it was until later. The mud is deep and squishy, but we wash off our feet in the flowing river. We grab at rice husks as we pass by them, and chomp on them as we trudge through the fields.

The sky is relatively cloudy, which was a nice break from the sun.

Still, it is amazing to see the children in the villages, who smile and wave at us, calling out “Sabadi!” (hello).  

Our guide entertains us with tales of his experiences with foreigners, like the time he wanted to point out honey in a tree to a group, but he couldn’t remember the word for honey, only that honey comes on pancakes, so he pointed upwards to the bee’s nest and said “pancake!”. They thought it was funny.

By the time we get home, I decide I am exhausted and much in need of a Lao traditional massage. After my shower, that is.

Hey guys - what's with all the dissing of Vientiane (the capital city of Laos)? Pretty much everyone we talked to before we got here told us "Oh only stay there one night, it sucks" or something equally off-putting. 

But actually, it's quite quaint here. Very French - baguettes everywhere, and some French architecture to boot. We went to see the famous Buddha Park yesterday, which is a bunch of Hindu and Buddhist statues all thrown together into a piece of land about 50 minutes outside of the city. It was eccentric and fun, but there was not nearly enough wind to make a stay of longer than 15 minutes bearable. It's pretty damn hot here.

There is also a huge Japanese influence here. I've seen foods here that I haven't seen since my time in Japan - takoyaki, okonomiyaki...I'm like, um, are we actually in Laos or Japan? Plus the fashion is very Japanese. Unfortunately, the accommodation is far from stellar - we're paying double the price for a room that is nowhere near as nice as the places we stayed at in Luang Prabang or Vang Vieng (though, admittedly, we were spoiled there).

Wish I had some pictures for you, but still working on replacing my camera. Might not be until Phnom Pehn so at least I have Amy's camera in the meantime. But she's sleeping right now which is why there are no pics.

Today we are headed to Pakxe via the nightbus. Get this - the nightbus has actual beds!! I was so excited when I heard this. Up until this point, nightbuses have been regular buses with slightly more comfortable seats that recline about 45 degrees. The travel time to Pakxe is 10 hours - we get in at 6am. Oh joy.

There's not meant to be much to see in Pakxe itself, but it's a gateway to the Bolaven Plateau, Wat Phou (Khmer ruins, World Heritage site), and the 4000 islands - all of which we are very excited about. 

What a crazy day we had tubing in Vang Viang. It was definitely something to be experienced. We started off our day by zip lining at the first bar. They gave us free shot after free shot, and then we decided to was time to get a bucket (see where this is heading?).

 
Me just a-floatin' down the river

We jumped in our tubes and floated down to the second bar. Everyone was our friend and we were all dancing and jumping and having a great time.

The party at the 2nd bar......good times....

By the third bar, after copious amounts of alcohol being poured down our throats, we were more stumbling than dancing. By the fourth bar, well I didn't make it to the fourth bar because I somehow missed it on my tube and ended up losing both Martha and Amy, and floating along with this random group of people while the rain came down and the darkness set in.

At some point, I put my bag in a very safe place. So safe, in fact, that even I can't locate where that place would be. In it was my camera, and some money. Most importantly, my camera.

Oy. But anyways, it's the price you pay for a good time (though hopefully never again). The day, all in all, was fantabulous. But I am SO glad that I am not one of these people - who are everywhere here - travelers who run out of money and get stuck in Vang Viang, bartending for their dinner and tubing every single day of the year (we met one guy who was SO proud of the fact that he'd been tubing every day since last November ("I was the first person tubing in 2009!" he proudly proclaimed)...he had "297 days tubing" written on his chest...sorry to say he was Canadian.

My advice to wanna-be tubers in Vang Viang: Do it, for sure, but don't bring anything valuable, and refuse some of the free shots - just because it's free, doesn't mean you have to drink it!!